-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
living
i should have been the artist things i wanted to be. i have spent the last 3.5 years of my life studying global inequity, gender oppression, the history of who made money when, the history of what everyone thought about that at the time, foreign aid failing, exploitation, how to make money, how to count money, what to do to make people want to spend money, how people are apt to behave, and how each class I take is fundamentally missing the mark...
and now, I can't wait to graduate. I have no plans, which scared me senseless until these past few days. I realize that I will be free in a way I never have been before. I will no longer go to an expensive lesson each day that teaches me about life, and it will just be me.
whatever happens, I need to remember that when I get to the point where it crosses my mind to kill myself, that definitely means i need to get things into perspective.
it's hopeless, i'm powerless, but at least i could be creative about something.
11:42 a.m. - Tuesday, Dec. 06, 2011
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
other diaries: |